No Need for Gundam Wing!
by PrincessCordelia
Summary: Insanity arises with Washu's new invention...I'll leave it at that...^_^; This is a joint story I did with my sister.


No Need For Gundam Wing

No Need For Gundam Wing!

By:Ariela Dawn and Prettysammy007

"Look princess, Tenchi is mine and there is nothing you can do about it! " Ryoko shouted at a insanely angry Aeka.

"Stop lying to yourself pirate! Tenchi is mine, we were always meant to be. So get your filthy hands off of him!" Aeka was all super deformed, her face crimson red, steam coming out of her ears typical Aeka.

"Girls, calm down!"Tenchi exclaimed from the floor, still dazed from Ryoko glomping him long before the fight ensued.

"Kiyone!" Mihoshi called from the kitchen with a bag of ice.

"Oh god no, not now!" Kiyone was hiding under the chabudai1, trying to get away from Mihoshi.

"Kiyone, I'm sorry that I hit you with Sasami's frying pan, but it was an accident I swear!" Mihoshi cried, looking at Kiyone under the chabudai.

"You are an accident!" Kiyone thought angrily, she slid out from under the chabudai to get the bag of ice from Mihoshi. She snatched it away and went to lay on the couch. 

At about this time, Ryoko and Aeka's fight was well under way, extending to the yard, where Ryoko blew up a rock behind Aeka, sending her flying into the lake. Aeka stomped out of the lake, drenched, and a fish flopping its tail off in Aeka's obi.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!!" Aeka shrieked and charged at Ryoko.

Sasami was in the kitchen fixing miso soup for lunch and she called everyone to lunch, shortly after a very large explosion rocked thehouse, including Washu's lab.

Inside Washu's lab, Washu was hard at work on her new invention, making the final adjustments.

"Washu!" Washu puppet A popped up on Washu's right shoulder.

"Time to eat Washu!" Washu puppet B popped up on Washu's left shoulder.

"All right, give me a few minutes, I want to finish this before I eat." Washu was delaying to get her invention finished.

"TIME TO EAT TIME TO EAT!" both puppets chanted continuously until Washu put the screwdriver down and flicked each of the puppets off her shoulders and continued to work.

"I just can't be a genius without some insanity now can I?" Washu asked herself. Washu picked up the screwdriver and made one last turn and then stood up and shouted: "I AM INDEED THE GREATEST GENIUS THIS UNIVERSE HAS EVER KNOWN!!!" Washu's stomach growled and Washu sweatdropped. "I'm also a hungry genius" Washu laughed and left the lab.

"Oh PLEASE Heero? Let's do something fun!" Relena whined, tugging on Heero's arm, "At least a game? PLEEEEEEEEEESE?"

"Then let's play 'Kill Relena' I think that would be fun." Heero said almost smiling.

"That's not fun…" Relena pouted

"Yes it is, for everyone except you…" Heero said cracking an insane grin.

"Be nice Heero," Hilde scolded.

"Why? So she can continue to stalk me? No." Heero said sarcastically.

"Hey, Hee-chan, I got something to help you with your Relena problem…" Duo said like a salesman running up to Heero, Hilde and Relena. Duo farted and Relena ran away screaming, while Hilde collapsed, Heero plugged his nose.

"Damn, Duo, what the hell did you eat?" Heero demanded.

"Burritos from the cafeteria, they're great! I call them Relena Repellers!" Duo exclaimed.

"I should go down there and get some…" Heero said looking at Relena, who was cowering behind Quatre.

"Hi Relena!" Quatre Barbie said (yes the Quatre Barbie doll, coming to a fanfiction.net near you!), "You want to play?" Relena gave Quatre a look like he had lost his mind.

"Um, sure…" Relena said, looking around trying to make sure she looks busy and innocent, "I want to be Relena Stacie!"

"Relena Stacie, would you like some tea?" Trowa Ken asked.

"Sorry, I must go stalk Heero Tommy for twelve years."

Zechs, Noin, and Wufei were watching the others do their thing, Quatre and Trowa play Gundam Wing Barbies, Duo and Heero have a farting contest, unusual insanity. 

"Ok, Hee-chan, the first to make that rare Amazon jungle plant thing wilt wins!" Duo said, getting a ripe one ready.

"It's agreed that we avoid Heero and Duo for a while?" Zechs asked.

"Agreed." Noin and Wufei said simultaneously.

Relena left Trowa and Quatre to go beat Hilde with the Relena Stacie doll. Duo danced in celebration.

"Um, Zechs, she is your sister, please explain what this behavior is." Noin requested and Zechs rolled up the sleeve of his jacket.

"See this?" Zechs began, "That is why I never liked Barbies, victim of Relena'sTeacher Barbie."

"So I take it that's your first battle scar?" Wufei mocked.

"Shut up," Zechs snapped.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you…" Washu declared in the living room of the Tenchi household, "The Dimension Port 20,000!"

"Very impressive Washu-chan..." Tenchi said looking at the massive machine.

"Let me see!" Ryoko criedand flew up to the machine, she pressed some random buttons and hit the 'Execute' button.

The room swirled around and the Tenchi crew landed in the Gundam Wing World. The G-pilots, Relena, Zechs, and Noin got transported to the Tenchi World. They all landed with a loud boom, Relena and Aeka landing on their faces.

"OW! Ryoko! What did you do to us?" Aeka demanded from the floor, she had a Stacie Doll in her hand that looked exactly like her.

"Wha-what's going on here?" Aeka gasped at the doll in her hands. "Is this your idea of a sick joke Ryoko?!"

"Mmmmph..." Ryoko was busy making out with Tenchi, Tenchi trying to break free.

"Ryoko!" First princess of the planet Chipmunk...er Jurai screamed.

"What? Can't you see I'm busy?" Ryoko said gasping for air. Tenchi scrambled away in a green tank top and black spandex shorts.

"Oh Tenchi!" Ryoko sang, she was wearing Duo's clothes. Ryoko looked at what she was wearing and screamed, catching the attention of Washu.

"Yes! It worked!" Washu exclaimed with joy. "I am a genius"

"Help...." Mihoshi cried from atop of the Heavyarms, where she landed.

"Mihoshi no baka..." Kiyone muttered in Wufei's clothes.

"Myaa!" Ryo-ohki was drowning somewhere in Noin's uniform, Sasami, her hair all down, and practically making a circus tent of Zech's uniform.

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Noin screeched covering herself up from the stares of Relena, Heero, Duo, Trowa, Wufei, Quatre, and a very excited Zechs. Diving under the chabudai, Noin yelled for someone to get her something decent to wear around. Relena took off to get something because that is what Relena would do for Noin.

"What? Where in the world are we?" Duo asked looking around, "and how did Noin get naked so fast?" 

Zechs decided that he should get a peek at Noin, but instead got a black eye from him and to check out the damage, noticed his hair....

"AHHHHHHHHH! MY HAIR!"

Duo saw Zech's hair was up in pigtails and was rolling on the floor with laughter, Trowa saw what Zechs was wearing also: Sasami's Dress, complete with carrot panties.

"Oooh la la!" Noin cat called from under the chabudai.

"Quiet! At least I'm not naked!" Zechs snapped, and left to search for the bathroom.

Relena returned with a set of sheets and handed them to Noin. Heero began to laugh.

"What?" Relena asked, Heero couldn't stop laughing. "What is it Heero? TELL ME!" Relena demanded and when Heero couldn't answer Duo stepped in a told her.

"Yourhair...your clothes, you..." 

Wufei and Quatre were staring at each other and then Quatre puppets A and B appeared on Quatre's shoulders.

"Quatre!" puppet A cried. "You're a genius Quatre!" puppet b cried. They had Quatre's hair, but Washu's clothing.

"I hate it here already..." Wufei muttered, looking at Kiyone's uniform in a mirror.

(::Author steps in:: "Hello! How are you? Good. Cocoa? Marshmallow? Cup to put it in? Great! All right! I see you're reading my little crossover of Tenchi Muyo and Gundam Wing, a result of WAAAY too much anime, sugar and boredom. I hope you're not confused yet, but if you are, here's a little help. 

Heero= Tenchi

Duo= Ryoko

Trowa= Mihoshi

Quatre= Washu

Wufei= Kiyone

Relena= Aeka

Zechs= Sasami

Noin= Ryo-ohki

Hilde= dead (I just wanted to add that, because I'm klazzy...and I hate Hilde ^_^)

I hope this helps you understand the story a little better, after all this is a story for the insane otaku, but I think Otaku and Insane mean the same thing...::Author steps out and fades into a bunch of blackness::)

"Fascinating...I can't believe how primitive that these machines are!" Washu cried from the cockpit of the Altron, "And look at this!" Washu held up a laptop. "They call these dinky things computers? HA! Mine is far more advanced than this!" Washu threw the laptop out and it exploded in to a kajillion pieces. She was also throwing random things out of the Altron left and right, a few things landed on Aeka. 

"Ouch!" Aeka cried, "Miss Washu, watch where you throw those! Somebody might get hurt! And what exactly are you doing in there anyway?"

"Oh, just making a few adjustments…" Washu said deviously. 

"Washu, I think that you should leave that thing alone…" Tenchi suggested.

"Nonsense! Nothing is going to happen!" Washu said, 'accidentally' bumping the controls to shoot fire out of the Dragon Fangs which scorched Aeka, Ryoko, Kiyone andMihoshi.

"What the hell are you trying to do to us Washu? Kill us?!" Ryoko screamed after becoming a crispy critter.

"Sorry, I accidentally hit this button!" Washu hit the button frying Ryoko again with the flames.

"That's it! I've had enough!" Tenchi yelled in frustration. "All of you just leave me alone!"

"Oh except me, right Tenchi?" Ryoko walked over to Tenchi and clung to him.

"It goes for you too Ryoko," Tenchi said, brushing Ryoko away.

"Ha ha!" Aeka jeered, "Tenchi doesn't want you around, now go home pirate!"

"How can I, huh? We're in some other world courtesy of Washu and we have no known way to get home!" Ryoko snapped.

"It was your fault that we got here in the first place!" Aeka squeaked like the haughty-taughty chipmunk princess that she was and stuck out her tongue at Ryoko.

"You wanna go?!" Ryoko challenged.

"Certainly, The winner, me will get Tenchi for good!" Aeka said.

"You're on!" Ryoko tried to make a laser sword, but couldn't. "Unh? What where are my powers?"

"AHHHHH!" Relena was screaming because Duo was chasing her around the house (literally) with one of Ryoko's laser swords. "Heero, HELP!"

"Aw, and ruin my fun?" Duo asked devilishly. He and Relena were all super deformed during the chase, Duo with little horns and a pointed tail; Relena has a chicken comb and tail feathers. 

Quatre and Trowa discovered Washu's lab and decided to explore it. They came across the deactivated Mecha Washu, still looking like Ryo-ohki…(Why? I don't know, ask Washu…), but they left it alone to get on to some other business…^_^;

Zechs locked himself in the bathroom Duo and Relena were chasing each other in the yard, Heero was on the couch,and Wufei…well..^_^;

"Mmmm, sugoi!" Wufei was gazing at himself in a mirror, turning to examine himself at all angles.

Heero turned on the television and flipped through the channels and eventually came across The Rocky Horror Picture Show on VH1.He watched it for about, well the whole movie, but, what were the others doing in the meantime you asked? Wufei was still at the mirror, Noin was still under the table, Trowa and Quatre were being naughty and Duo and Relena were still chasing each other. Moving on to Trowa and Quatre.

"Trowa, we shouldn'tbe doing this…" Quatre was a bit nervous, because Trowa was in his little clown boxers… with his butt in a hole. "Mooning other worlds isn't funny anymore…let me do one now!"

Um, let's see what Zechs is doing…

"GGGGRRR!" Zechs was trying to get the ponytails out of his hair.He slowly started to pull the rubber bands alittle from the scalp,along withhandful of hair. Zechs yelped like a girly man and continued to pull the ponytails out of his hair. Looking in the bathroom mirror, he finally noticed his getup, along with the carrot panties.

"GOOD LORD!" Zechs screamed. Grabbing Noin's attention from downstairs, then looking around, she grabbed a zabuton2 and carefully snuck passed Heero doing the Time Warp, up to the bathroom.

"CHEESE AND RICE!!!" Zechs yelled when Noin sneaked in the bathroom (say it really fast, though you might get in trouble with your local religious leader). "Don't do that!"

"Sorry," Noin said sarcastically,clinging to the zabuton tightly, "But, I really have to go!"

Zechs rolled his eyes and left the bathroom.

Noin popped her head out the door, "While you're out there, get something suitable on! Nobody else besides me should see that…and get me something decent too…" Noin shut the door and disappeared.

Zechs, shaking his head, went to Noboyuki'sroom for some clothes and then hit Aeka's room to get something for Noin. Heero had the television blasting "I Can Make You a Man" loud enough to vibrate the windows. Duo was STILL chasing Relena in the yard (because Relena is...to put it gently, an idiot) because Relena couldn't figure out how to use Aeka's little log barrier thing. Duo was teleporting everywhere where Relena was running to, laser sword in hand. Let's get into that conversation…shall we?

"AIEEEE!" Relena screamed. Duo laughed insanely and grabbed Relena's dress.

"This is for stalking my Hee-chan!" Duo threatened and slashed Relena's hair and let her go.

"What?!" Relena was shocked, "I never stalked Heero!"

"You have driven him to suicide!" Duo yelled, flying towards Relena.

"It was of his own will!" Relena argued and shielded herself, activating the log barrier thing.

"Nice move, BUT IT WON'T SAVE YOU FROM SHINIGAMI!" Duo was really losing his sanity and wailed on Relena.

"MIHOSHI! GET DOWN HERE!" Kiyone yelled at Mihoshi on top of the Heavyarms.

"Aw, Kiyone, I'm missing Space Police Policemen!" Mihoshi whined and started to climb down.

"Tenchi, I want to go home!" Sasami cried and tears began to well up in her eyes.

"I know Sasami-chan, but we can't get home yet." Tenchi hugged Sasami to comfort her. "Washu!" Tenchi yelled up to the Sandrock. 

"Yes, my guinea pig!" Washu yelled, poking her head out of the cockpit.

"Is there any way for us to get home from here?" Tenchi yelled over Sasami's head.

Washu climbed down and grabbed a rag to wipe off her hands. Washu then walked over to Tenchi and pondered for a moment. "I don't think that we can get home from HERE, so we either have to rely on my timer or on those that we switched with, those are our only options now."

"Here I go, catch me Kiyone!" Mihoshi called to Kiyone at Heavyarm's feet.

"What?" Kiyone was watching Ryoko and Aeka fight over a package of cookies that Ryoko found in the Deathscythe. Mihoshi let go of the gatling arm and landed on Kiyone sending both of them to the floor.

"Dammit Mihoshi! Why can't you ever act like something with brains?! I'm sure Washu has plenty to spare!"

"Oh no, don't even think of borrowing some of my brains Mihoshi!" Washu warned, "It might just fry yours to a extra crispy chicken wing!"

"That sounds good!" Mihoshi exclaimed unaware that Kiyone is about ready to tear out her eyeballs and shove them…well you can guess where… ;]

"My cookies!" Ryoko yelled, pulling the box closer towards her mouth.

"NO! I NEED THESE!!" Aeka shouted, yanking on the box towards her mouth.

"I found them!" Ryoko bit the box and pulled hard, saliva flying everywhere.

"DISGUSTING!" Aeka let go of the box to wipe off her hands. 

"They're mine!" Ryoko shouted with joy and took off with the cookies, dancing the whole way over to Tenchi. "Tenchi, do you want a cookie?" Ryoko asked sweetly and held out the drooled on box.

"Um, no thanks Ryoko, I'm not hungry…" Tenchi said, rubbing Sasami's back to comfort her because she was very upset that it was taking so long to get home.

"Miss Ryoko?" Sasami asked, all teary-eyed, "Can I have a cookie?"

"I don't know," Ryoko said, biting into one, it was rock-hard. "They're pretty old…"

"Never mind then," Sasami said, burying her face in Tenchi's stomach again.

"Ryoko! What is going on over there?" Aeka marched over and took a look at Sasami clinging to Tenchi. "What did you do to Sasami?"

"Nothing…" Ryoko replied simply.

"Don't lie! You did something to her and you'll pay for it!" Aeka chattered and charged at Ryoko.

Duo and Relena ran in the house, Heero was busy throwing toast at the television (Heero is NOT toast!)

"Heero!Help me!"Relena screamed.Heero threw a piece of toast at Relena.He threw another one, and Duo caught it in his mouth.

Now let's go to the lab…..

"Um.. Trowa?"Quatre asked.

"What?"

"Are you sure you should be copying your butt on the Xerox?"

"C'mon, Quatre, you know you want to."He said.Quatre was about to pull down his pants, when Wufei walked into the lab.

"Hey, I can't find any makeup around here, I have a blemish right here."Wufei pointed to his noise.Suddenly, Quatre Puppets A and B popped up.

"Quatre!" A Puppet said.

"Copy your butt Quatre!"B Puppet said.

"Okay."Quatre sat on the Xerox machine.Relena and Duo came running into the lab.Relena knocked Quatre off the Xerox machine, and her face landed on the machine.Duo grinned evilly and slammed down the cover of the Xerox machine on her head.Relena screamed.

Back upstairs….

"I can't find anything for Noin."Zechs said in frustration.He looked in the mirror again at the carrot panties.He squinted his eyes, and opened Sasami's drawers.Carrot panties, all in the first drawer.

"Ugh, this person must be obsessed with carrots or something."Zechs muttered.

Back in the living room….

"No!They killed Rocky!"Heero shrieked.He heard Relena's shrieks and ran to the lab, toast in his hand.Duo still hitting Relena with the cover, he saw Heero, and glomped him.Heero shoved Duo off him, and started to throw toast at Relena.

"AND I'M NOT TOAST!"Heero yelled. (Note:: Visit [http://www.geocities.com/heero_toast/][1] to get more info on why Heero is not toast.)

Oh dear, let's go back upstairs….

"I found some clothes Noin."Zechs said as he opened the door.When he opened the door, the floor was covered with body hair.

"Ewww….."Zechs said.He tossed the clothes to Noin, without trying to look at her, and left.

"Hey!"Ryoko called from Deathscythe."I found some candy!"

"Give me some!"Aeka called.

"No way!It's mine!"Ryoko popped a piece in her mouth.Sasami climbed up to where Ryoko was, and searchedthrough the cockpit.She grabbed something and climbed back down.

"What do you have, Sasami?"Tenchi asked.Sasami held up a pair of ponytail holders, and went the corner of the room, and started to brush her hair.Tenchi looked up, and saw Ryoko and Aeka fighting over the bag of candy.

"Give me some candy!"Aeka shrieked.

"No way!I found it!"Ryoko said.

"Okay, let's fight, whoever wins, gets Tenchi, and the candy."Aeka said.

"And the loser has to buy the winner a can of whipped cream."Ryoko grinned.

"Why?"Aeka asked.Ryoko pointed to Tenchi.Aeka smiled and got in fighting stance.

"Ready?"Ryoko got in a fighting stance, also.Suddenly, Ryoko started to climb onto Deathscythe.

"What are you doing?"Aeka yelled.

"Well, this suit is for the person whose body I have, so I should rightfully get it."Ryoko climbed into the cockpit, and started Deathscythe.Aeka screamed and started to run.Then suddenly, she stopped.

"Hah!I may as well use the powers of this person, too."Aeka yelled up to Ryoko.

"What do you mean?"Ryoko asked.

"Peace needs to be achieved.We must stop sending weapons to the people."Aeka said.

"AHH!!!MY EARS!"Ryoko shrieked.Tenchi also covered his ears in pain.Sasami was still brushing her hair.Mihoshi was crying, and Kiyone was about to smash Mihoshi in Altron.Washu threw a unneeded part at Aeka "accidentally."

"Ouch!Miss Washu!You did that on purpose, didn't you?"Aeka yelled.Ryoko uncovered her ears, slowly, and grinned at Aeka.Aeka looked up and screamed.

Uh oh, this may get too graphic, let's go back to the Masaki home….

"Quatre!"Puppet A yelled.

"Have some 'tea' Quatre."Puppet B said.Wufei grabbed the 'tea' drunk half the bottle. (In case you are wondering, the 'tea' is sake. J )Quatre grabbed the sugar jar.

"Baka, you don't put sugar in 'tea'."Wufei said.Quatre put down the sugar, and Wufei stumbled up to the karaoke machine.

"Oh no, Wufei's gonna sing!"Duo said, as he kicked the unconscious Relena.Suddenly, there was a ringing sound.

"Oh, that must be the cake I was baking!"Zechs got up and went into the kitchen.Trowa was taping the copies of his butt everywhere in the lab.

"I'm back with the cake!"Zechs set the cake down on the table.Wufei was singing "And That's the Way It Is"by Celine Dion.Duo grabbed the whole cake, and shoved it in his mouth.

"Duo!You baka!I wanted some cake."Heero said.

"But, I'm hungry…."Duo said.He then went to the kitchen, and ate everything in there.

"Duo, can you turn off the timer?For some reason, it's going off."Zechs called to Duo.Duo grabbed the timer. 

"It's not going off."Duo said.Everyone looked at the Dimension Port 20,000.

"Hmm…"Washu pondered."The timer should of gone off by now."Ryoko was about ready to squish Aeka under Deathscythe's foot.Suddenly, everyone transported back to their worlds.

"Hey!We're back!"Duo said as he put down Deathscythe's foot.There was a screaming, then a squishing sound.

"Oops…"Duo said.Heero threw more toast at Relena's remains.Quatre picked up his dolls and continued to play.Trowa and Wufei joined him.Noin and Zechs leaned against the wall.

"We're back!"Mihoshi squealed. Everyone looked around the lab.

"Myaa!"Ryo-ohki said.Sasami looked at the cabbit.

"OH MY GOD!"Sasami said. Ryo-ohki was shaved, head to toe.Ryoko sighed, and teleported over to Tenchi.Tenchi fell over. 

"Man, Ryoko, you're really heavy!"Tenchi gasped.Ryoko looked at herself, and screamed.

"AHH!! I'm…FAT!"

Silence…..

"What?No evil chipmunk laughing, princess?"she went over to Aeka, who was unconscious.Washu looked all around the lab, and saw the pictures of Trowa's butt.

"Oh dear, we have to clean this up."Washu said.She grabbed a few copies, and put them in her pocket.All the girls grabbed some copies, and stuffed the pictures in their pockets Washu, grabbing the most.Aeka got up and looked around.She stared and started to get some pictures for herself.

"Hey!"Tenchi yelled from the kitchen.All of out food is gone!And the sink handles are gone, too!"

Duo burped, and a bolt came out of his mouth.

"Okay, everyone out of my lab!"Washu pushed all the girls out of the lab."I have to work on my new invention."All the girls sat down, and started to watch soap operas.Sasami was busy, restoring the kitchen.Ryo-ohki was crying because all the carrots were gone.

"I hate soap operas.."Mihoshi said."They always make me cry.."suddenly, Mihoshi disappeared.

Back in Washu's Lab….

"Huh?"Trowa asked."Why am I back here?"

"Because,"Washu said."I brought you here."She held up a picture of Trowa's butt."Is this your butt?"

"Yeah,"Trowa blushed.Washu walked up to him, and looked up at his face.

"You have a nice ass, would you like to my guinea pig?"she asked.Trowa had a blank look on his face.

"Sure, hey, do you have any hammers?"

///_^ç That's Trowa"I like hammers!"

"Omae o korosu!" Zechs was yelling at Mihoshi, who was clinging on to the Epyon's leg.

"WHHHHHHAAAAAAA! I'm sorry! I just want to go home!" She landed on Zechs when Washu switched them…almost breaking his back…

Quatre was crying because his Barbie buddy was gone and he has to play with this bimbo (sorry Mihoshi fans!).

**POOF!**

Mihoshi and Trowa switched again and when they came back, Mihoshi watched Space Police Policemen (and pissed Kiyone off because they were on patrol at the time) and Trowa went to play Barbieswith Quatre. Heero and Duo finished their farting contest (Duo the victor) and Zechs, Noin and Wufei just slept.

THE END!

   [1]: http://www.geocities.com/heero_toast/



End file.
